Self righteousness didn’t get us a baby.

Michelle Obama discloses that she had a miscarriage and then conceived through IVF. It’s a personal thing, right? She shouldn’t have to discuss it, right? But she did. Why?

My reasoning: Michelle Obama is a conscientious woman. She’s a girls’ girl. She saw women getting judged for adopting or taking help for conception or wanting kids may be not now but later. She saw women who have healthy uteruses and healthy reproductive lives as the chieftains of all womankind just so they can tell their less fertile sisters that they are not good enough. She told us this truth about her life twenty years ago because she probably believes that a uterus is just a vessel and a mother is borne out of spirit. That if your vessel isn’t working, you’re good. But if your spirit isn’t working then ten kids borne out of your well-functioning vessel won’t make you a mother. That an adoptive parent is a parent. And an IVF mother is a mother (who goes through way more pain than a natural smooth, one-attempt-at-it pregnancy). That a grandmother who raises a girl is a mother. And that we all our mothers if we nurture our spirits everyday. And that when you see a mother who is raising a child who didn’t come out of her, don’t think she’s any less of a mother. She is more of a mother because she was born a mother and her spirit is of a mother .

It takes a lot to go through IVF for a child who will make life a little fuller and a little crazier at the same time. It takes a lot to choose to be a mother by adopting a child and raising them as her own. That each time a woman decides to be a mother, her spirit blossoms a little more, the flowers grow a little brighter, the sky turns a little bluer. We are all mothers regardless of the path we took. Because in the end, we all feed our spirit a little bit of our soul. And in the end we all nurture our babies with all our spirit. ❤️