20 things that we should not say after 2020

1. Dark skinned women are beautiful: from a dark skinned woman to my light skinned sisters, please stop with these patronizing comments. I’m comfortable in my skin without your benevolent rescue. I’m fine, really. What makes me cringe is when you swear up and down trying to prove that you think my color is something to appease me about. My color doesn’t need acknowledgment for how beautiful it is. No!!!!! That’s ignorant of you to think that my color puts me at a disadvantage in the beauty world. Talk about how my color stands in the way of my acceptance. How I have less access to healthcare and equal opportunities because of it. When you say that dark skinned women are beautiful you make me wonder if all that’s acceptable is beautiful and if you have created another criteria for it. Stop it and fight for what affects my life and health and social status.

2. First get married: Not everyone has to get married in order to be successful or happy. In fact, marriage can lead to compromises over happiness and success. Don’t pray for me to get married. Pray for me to be happy.

3. Minorities feel this……. we don’t need mouth pieces and spokespeople. We can speak. So please listen! Mute yourselves and listen.

4. Science bullies politics: science is actually solid, factual and irrefutable. It doesn’t bully anyone but people can feel threatened by it because it is sometimes what we don’t like and may actually fear. Science isn’t related to politics. There’s no connection. Scientists are people with a vision for science and fact. They don’t consider the effects of their discoveries or truths on nuanced practices like politics.

5. This pandemic is a hoax: this blog is coming out late but the death toll speaks for itself. If the pandemic is a hoax then we are all in Star Wars.

6. I’m not racist: This I don’t want to hear. Invariably this comes from a place of suppressed racism. It’s a fault that we are racists. It’s an even bigger fault to assume that we are perfect. Accept the racist in us and learn how to unpack biases and see how we come out the other end.

7. Is it racist to say this? In the year 2020 this is a very uncouth question to ask. If you suspect something is a racist thing to say, assume it is and don’t say it.

8. Can I call you something else because your name is hard to pronounce? No. If you can pronounce all those exotic places in Scandinavian countries that have become a symbol of your being well-traveled then you can say a few names that have been around for years.

9. Please don’t judge me: then don’t act like an ass.

10. Men also get harassed: sure! I suppose this is what men raise to all the rape cases women suffer from. Dear Sir! This is not a contest. If it was, I’m sure you would’ve failed miserably.

11. Women have become a little too feminist: Too feminist is like saying too woman. Is any woman too woman?

12. I have the right to question. Sure! Just like I have the right to not answer. This street is two-way. If you can’t participate in social justice movements and endeavors to empower our social leaders and would rather question them, then be prepared to get schooled by many who can reason through intentions before questioning. Questioning crowd funding efforts for the betterment of the society is like questioning a school teacher. Can you school your kid yourself? No? Then don’t unnecessarily question the teacher.

13. You live in the USA and we Pakistanis have unique problems that you can’t get. This world is a global village. Just as you know how we function, we know how you function.

14. Parenting tips: these could totally disappear from the internet for all I care. They add zero to most parents’ quality of life.

15. I’m an introvert/extrovert: this wholesome obsessive analysis of your own self is of no interest to anyone.

16. COVID is a blessing: until you get it. Stop glamorizing and romanticizing a pandemic. It’s stupid.

17: I’m apolitical: but you were in fraternities and college sororities. Anyone who says is apolitical is uber privileged until proven otherwise.

18: 60 is the new 40: no platitudes, please! We are getting old. Let’s accept it. It will make accepting age and age-related sequelae so much easier.

19: I’m a half-baked activist: thanks for accepting it. All your activism points towards this fact. Everyone knew it already and now you know it too.

20: West is bad. East is good: unless you move to the west. Then East is bad. This internal war must cost you a lot of pain. Let’s just apply for that immigration now and call it a day.