Cat fight! What do men want to see?

Cat fights have been the longest-awaited and most highly esteemed things to happen for most men. They’re strangely obsessed with it and might I add, probably sexually. In the words of Seinfeld,

“When two women fight, men think there’s a chance they’ll kiss”.

Let me tell you, bro, the last thing two fighting women want to do is kiss each other. Women fight with a conviction and determination that would put statesmen to shame. There’s a reason men have been afraid of feminism and its close relative, the feminist. They are both sharp, quick-witted, armed with facts and ready to battle misogyny out .

Historically mud fights have also been considered sexy. Usually for the purposes of soft rating, mud fights got movies an R for Restricted. What’s so restriction-worthy, you might ask. Exactly! Innocent minds can’t fathom why two women would wrestle in mud and then the movie would get rated for them.

Cat fight, etymologically, is an old enough word for people to get over. But in a world where heterosexual men objectify women on the daily, cat fight has become a fetish.

Fights between women in popular media, where a physical fight is involved, has been usually between two Amazonian women, each more beautiful than the other. This is a turn-on. Yes, people! And they call feminists angry! We are angry for a reason. We have all seen the exploitation of women in wrestling rings.

Historically also, cat fights have been associated with women fighting over men. I know what women are thinking. “Go flatter yourself some more, heterosexual men!” Men are thinking, “Hell, yeah!”

But here’s the thing! Many people didn’t agree that Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck were having a cat fight. Some were so crass to say that they’d have to substitute even Joy Behar for it to be a proper cat fight. Get the drift? It’s all sexual. Rosie was actually pretty good from what I remember. She brings sexy to every conversation just by being herself so I was turned on but not for the reasons that men postulate.

But here’s another thing! The objectification of women doesn’t leave them ever. The trivializing of their disagreements doesn’t end. The tone-policing doesn’t end. And enjoyment at a woman’s distress is multiplied when two women are distressed. Men watch two women engaged in an argument, either at workplaces or home, happy to be either a spectator or a cause for the distress, but never intervene as an ally. They watch in sexual anticipation for a kiss to happen. This is how patriarchy watches out for us. This is why it’s hard to smash it. This is why it should smash itself.