Yes really you are. You’re so intrusive and interrogative that I can’t get away with anything. There are so many things that are private and confidential but just because you’re my self-proclaimed best friend you have to know. You don’t realize how uncomfortable you make me when you repeatedly ask me if I’m sure my son should go to a community college. You have no regard for the fact that bringing up my previous divorce in front of my kids is heartbreaking. And I could deal with that. But when you bring it up in front of my present husband with seemingly loving comments like “Aren’t you lucky you got out of the clutches of that monster?” I choke up a bit. I wish you weren’t my friend. I wish I hadn’t confided in you.
But the truth is I never confided in you. You asked and asked and asked. And this is how you continued to accumulate information about me. Timid as I am, I supplied all the information even though I knew I shouldn’t. Even though I knew that the torture that my ex-husband was isn’t something I want to live through each time you bring him up. Your constant needling about his whereabouts and his current wife is exhausting and demoralizing. My husband has caught me many a time in the middle of these dodgy conversations with you and he suspects that I start them. You have really made it tough for me to maintain my relationship with you without some friction with my husband.
I know you’re not a bad person. But your thirst for knowledge coupled with your itch for gossip compounded with your interest in others’ weaknesses and sad moments is a bad combination and makes you a very petty person. When I see this side of you, I almost don’t want to see you ever again.
Why do you feel at liberty to ask me invasive, personal and rude questions? Like if my husband “allows” me to work? Or if my daughter is dating someone? Or if my parents are supported by their kids?
May be you don’t realize it but when you make your comments or observations about me you make me insecure. I reevaluate our friendship. In those moments the cons stand out taller than the pros.
And boy, do you observe! You were quick to mention how I shouldn’t be buying new china when my husband lost his job. I didn’t tell you but the china belonged to my mother and is one of the few things that she had reserved for me when I’d have my own home.
You didn’t let it go that our car needed winter tires. Actually, we were aware of that. But it was a close choice between winter tires and my daughter’s tutor’s fee so we prioritized this past winter.
You have always been critical of my cooking. Not only to me but to other friends also. Emboldened by your crassness many of our common friends have taken jabs at my cooking. You were supposed to be my rock but you poked holes through my armor.
I love you as a friend but you’re too much. Your interest in me and my life is suffocating. Your judgement of my ways and my misfortunes is pathetic. Your observations of my personality and my home are oppositional.
You and I don’t have any open animosity. But I feel there’s something. There’s a lack of sincerity and love. There’s a little contest that you build in your head with me. And I always lose because I don’t ask you your business. And you always rule because you are in your business and you’re in my business too.