Rebuttal for “buttal” talk.

Parents, particularly Pakistani parents, treat their kids like their ancestral property. No qualms with that. It’s my culture. I don’t like it but that’s all I’ve got to call my own.

But I’m a little aghast at Shahid Afridi lying all his life about his age. I mean this guy has no idea that the morally bereft thing that he’s calling his autobiography is insanely controversial and very detrimental to his own image. We all know that he has always come across as a little bit of an impulsive player but impulsively writing a book? Well, that’s a whole another issue.

I’m not going to call him out on insulting and actually goading feminists. Trust me! His insult came as a surprise to everyone except feminists. We know our allies and our allies have usually not come in the form of virile men with powerful controls of their daughters’ lives.

Feminists however have a little back talk to his crap talk. And it goes like this.

“Dear Mr. Afridi! As a feminist I wasn’t offended by your comments. I actually felt sorry for you. The joke that the heavens have played on you by honoring you with daughters only is colossal. The irony of that joke isn’t lost on us. We are sitting here with a bag of popcorn waiting for the curtain to drop on this one. We are waiting for another autobiography by one of Misses Afridi, ten years from now, about the oppression that their father showed to them by playing international cricket himself but holding them back in the claustrophobia of their own homes. We feel sorry for you. Because mediocre player as you have been, we expected the book to be authentic and engaging. It has actually proved to be controversial. Now controversial is good! Don’t get me wrong. That’s the type of thing that sells and that’s the type of thing that people wanna read. But…….the controversy that you’ve created is screaming of lack of balls. You didn’t stand up to the people in the proverbial ivory tower when you were in the throes of injustice and animosity. Do you feel that you practice some of that pent up anger towards the women of your family by not allowing them freedom? Do you think that years of living and breathing a corrupt system willingly have converted you into someone who practices control without shame or remorse? I think that may be the problem. Your problem are not feminists. We aren’t saying anything. We aren’t insulted. We are actually honored. We are hugely honored because you can’t care about us just as we don’t care about you. And we are happy because you did our job for us. Which one, you ask? You planted the seed of feminism in your own home. How, you wonder? You “challenged” feminists. You used the original F word. And by using it, you made it a part of history much more reliably than your book. And now each time one of your girls will read this interview or hear it, she will look up the word “feminist”. Then she will think about why feminists are talking about her. Why her dad pointed them out? Were they the women who could’ve gotten her the right to step outside and follow her dreams? Then she will learn all about us. She will devour every piece of information on us. She will become us long before she’ll meet us. And when she’ll meet us, she’ll be one of us. This is how chauvinism, patriarchy and misogyny are spurring feminism on everyday. This is how you created four feminists in your own home”.

Respectfully

Your neighborhood feminists.

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