For those who know me, the fact that I’m a painfully ridiculous version of Bethany Frankel from the Real Housewives of New York, is well-known. I’m annoying and opinionated. I’m not overtly judgmental but I am opinionated. Some might say they’re the same thing and I agree to a certain extent. That’s a problem with being a supposed know-it-all.
But even though I come across as a know-it- all, I’m really not it. I’m open and debating, yes! And that sometimes gives the impression that I know more about something than you do but that’s only because I’m not constantly apologetic. A trait which I find extremely unattractive.
I love my opinions and expect others to love them too. But I’m not possessive and protective of my opinions so I can argue and debate over them and can even be convinced if your point makes sense to me. But politely evasive conversations aren’t for me. Those are for people who are always apologetic of their ideas and pretend to be unsure of what they think but are actually much smarter than I’d ever be.
So what’s the point of this blog? Nothing! Just to register my opinion of the constant apologetic state that women are expected to live in. And even thrive in.
For example, I don’t use cautious language that is so convoluted and so dense with niceties and preambles and all that crap that my actual meaning is lost. I am straightforward and have respect for straightforwardness. So I disagree openly and don’t hold any differences in my heart if someone disagrees. I try to convince them and because I usually can, it has given me some false confidence in my being right most of the time. What I have realized after so many years is that people don’t like me for what I say, but rather how I say it. That’s impactful.
I also don’t use “Please”, “I beg to differ”, “forgive me for my ignorance”, “I’d love to agree with you” and other expressions in this department. It’s all a waste of time for me. For those who know me know that I jump in an argument headfirst and usually feel no remorse in striking a debate. I don’t back out either if people just want to prove me wrong or argue based on semantics. I really carry it all the way.
I also don’t have any respect for the famous expression “Let’s agree to disagree”. What the hell is that? Is it a form of polite dismissal? If it is then the thickness of my mind and body never recognizes it as “Shut the fuck up and let me revel in my ignorance”. When someone says “Let’s agree to disagree” I hear “I’m too weak to argue with you and would rather just bask in my glory in my backyard with my duck and chicken”.
For the same reason I can’t for the life of me understand the famous emojis. What in the name of crap is that crap? Who created them and who uses them without any know-how now of the etiquette of conversation? As little as my patience is for emojis, I have even less patience for the rolling eye, the side eye, the stifled laugh and the sarcastic smile.
So you could say that I’m an upfront and stupid person when it comes to debating a point but I’m not sarcastic or cowardly. I’m truthful and defiant. I’m scrappy and resilient. I’m opinionated and only interested in people who can defend their opinion. This is why people read my blogs, follow them and even identify with them. This is why I have made some friendships with people who once disagreed with me. But we talked and talked and talked and then talked some more. And finally we said “I don’t agree but I can’t argue anymore”. That’s honest and doesn’t necessitate a fake, nuanced, double entendre disagreement.