You raped her. Why’re you saying you didn’t?

When you go out on a date with a girl don’t automatically assume that she wants to eat dinner with you. May be she just wants to have a churro from a roadside vendor. Don’t plonk her at a table. Don’t orchestrate this evening.

Don’t assume that she is touching your foot with hers because she wants sex. That’s not a yes.

Don’t assume that she made a drink for you at her apartment so she could have sex with you. That’s not a yes.

Don’t assume that she’s kissing you to have sex. Kissing isn’t sex. Kissing isn’t permission to have sex.

Don’t assume that this is the least she can do to pay you back for dinner. There is no least. The most she can do is verbally thank you for dinner. The most she can do is contribute to the dinner as much as her pocket allows if you ask for it.

If you ask for sex and she says no, get even. Get even by asking for your money back. Get even by telling her to ask her friend for a ride. Get even by blocking her number on your phone. Get even by never speaking with her again.

But don’t get even by trying to get sex from her. Or by trying to make sweeps at her breasts in the car. Or by trying to change her peck on the cheek to fixing your mouth on her lips and your tongue down her throat. No dinner is that expensive unless both parties think it was.

Don’t look for subtle body movements that might mean sex. Don’t think she’s playing hard to get. Don’t imagine a yes. Strain your ears for a yes. And if you don’t hear it, you don’t hear it. It might put a damper on your evening but do the right thing. Back off!

If she is wearing a low-cut dress she didn’t come dressed for sex after dinner.

If she came wearing a thigh-high slit she didn’t come dressed for sex after dinner.

If she came with her hair down she didn’t come for sex after dinner.

If she came in clothes that seem to be slipping off her body she didn’t come dressed for sex after dinner.

You invited her for dinner and that’s what she’s here for.

She’s not the girl you dated last week who couldn’t stop holding hands with you and then when you asked for sex, she said yes.

This one is another girl. Yes she’s holding hands just as intensely as last week’s girl but if she says no when you ask about sex, don’t assume it’s a yes because the two scenarios are so similar. Don’t ask her again and again. Don’t try to change her answer.

Remember, you’ll know a yes when you HEAR it. In the world of ambiguous body languages, don’t become an expert tonight and think that fluttering eyelashes, smiling coyly, holding hands, turning her face and a myriad of body gestures are an indication of her wanting sex tonight. You’ll know it when you hear it.

And until you hear a YES, it’s a NO.

And if you refuse to hear the NO which is always implied until a YES is said, you raped her. It’s actually very simple. Why’re you confused?


  1. Yes. Actually marital rape is a federal offense in Pakistan. With a punishment similar to rape but sadly that’s just a rule that’s limited to the rule book. Doesn’t get followed and certainly doesn’t get punished when broken.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so true! In fact, most of the married women in rural areas are forced to have sex with their husbands. This is actually because they are forced to marry. Moreover, most of the rural children in are a result of forced sex…or marital rape because they don’t have access to things like condom. An even more heartbreaking issue is that some countries don’t recognize marital rape as a criminal offense!!

    Liked by 1 person

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