As six o’clock rolls around I start to get anxious. My shift starts at 7 at my hospital. I leave behind my husband of 14 years and my two kids: nine years old and 21 month old. I can’t decide which one is the most difficult to part with tonight? Is it my husband? Forever smiling as he says bye yet requesting me to do that one last thing before I go. He always wants to be so supportive that takes on more than he can handle and ends up calling me multiple times on my way to work. I love him. I don’t think there was another partner who could truly be the partner that he is.
Or is it my 9 year old? Has pretty significant autism but hates to see the environment around her changing as mom leaves for work. She is now settling in for the day and hates that people still can’t seem to stop for tonight. Ah Youth! It never realizes what old age sacrifices for it.
Or is it my toddler who tugs at my heart the most? He is with me all day long, everyday. We play together, sing together, laugh together, wait for big sister together, fight together at mealtimes. He is like my little soldier in the battle of everyday chores after work. He is my shadow, my companion. I can’t wait for him to go down for a nap so I can get some things done around the house and then miss him terribly as soon as he is asleep.
Is a woman’s life ever easy? Does she love anyone less, anyone more? Why does she love everyone the same and where does she get the energy to be the fighter, the lover, the guardian, the teacher and the glue?
How does the same woman cower when people question her parenting but bares her teeth when her family is questioned? Where does she draw the resilience from? Where does this never-ending stream of love and perseverance come from?
It is because women are special. While they love, they also fight. While they’re making love to their husbands, they’re planning the next meal for their kids. And while they’re putting their kids to bed, they’re texting their parents. And while they’re working, they worry for their colleagues and their work and the people whose lives they touch. Because being a woman is being a spirit which can be in many places at the same time.
My mind as a woman 